...And The World Keeps Spinning
From layoffs to walking away, through it all life continues to move forward. The question is: has it impacted you enough to make a change?
I’ve felt a world of emotions over the past few weeks, from the massive layoffs in tech and the overwhelming misogyny in the press to the ever-increasing number of banned books centered on people of color and the LGBTQIA+ community and the horrific murder of Tyre Nichols, a young Black man in Memphis Tennessee.
January 2023 is turning out to be a long month indeed.
I feel deep empathy for the thousands of people recently displaced by the tech giants. I’ve seen hundreds of testimonies on LinkedIn and other social media platforms where they all shared the same story of how they were notified.
Well …it doesn’t seem like they were notified - just cut off.
Layoffs in tech are not new; anyone who’s been part of the industry for a while knows that no one is immune. Having been on both sides of that situation, I’ve learned that you must treat people with respect. I was displaced twice. The last time was many years ago; I was 7 months pregnant. I was summoned to our HR rep’s office.
Didn’t see it coming.
My focus that day was on a document I had to finish, but as she said those words to me, the world melted away and all I could think about was my baby. Suddenly without a job and a quickly approaching expiration date on medical insurance, I couldn’t help but think that everyone involved in axing the pregnant lady was going straight to hades.
Too distraught to drive home, I stood in the parking garage for (what felt like) hours. Leaning against my car with one arm securing a box of my belongings and the other holding my swollen belly, each tear became a promise to stay vigilant. When I finally managed to pull myself together, I realized that although this was happening to me, the world kept going. I had to figure out my next move.
Worldview or Skewed View?
When Jacinda Arden decided to step down as Prime Minister of New Zealand, the BBC News headline screamed sexism. It read: “Jacinda Arden resigns: Can women really have it all?” For the life of me, I didn’t understand what being a woman had to do with resigning from a position. In her own words, Jacinda said, “I’m leaving, because with such a privileged role comes responsibility – the responsibility to know when you are the right person to lead and when you are not. I know what this job takes. And I know that I no longer have enough in the tank to do it justice. It’s that simple.”
This was the same publication when Boris Johnson, who quit as UK’s prime minister last year, made no mention of his gender. BBC has since apologized for the sexist headline and rewrote it.
Somebody throw some confetti.
In the meantime, we’ll continue to hold the powers that be accountable. It’s time we grow past this type of thinking.
Changing the Narrative …Back
And the fight over censorship continues. Lord Almighty, they banned Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye. Toni Morrison was a gift and we should treasure every word she wrote.
Okay, I’m off my soapbox.
They banned Jack London’s Call of the Wild – I loved this book as a kid and I think it was one of the first books I ever read to my boys.
There’s was even a ban at one point on Where’s Waldo? Something about some soft porn action – you can’t make this stuff up.
It seems that books are banned whenever folks discuss their life experiences or fictionalized stories that may not align with the washed narrative. Anne Frank is a hero, yet her infamous Diary of Anne Frank is also banned. I’ve made a list (see below) of some of the banned books I’ve read. I hope you check them out and share them. Bitter Southerner said it best “Read Banned Books,” friends.
Taking the Narrative Forward
A week ago, I took my sweet boy back to college. Before I left him, I prayed with him and espoused maternal advice that I thought would help him complete this semester. But the truth is, as of late, I am just praying for his safety and well-being. I pray that his steps will continue to be ordered. I pray that he has the resources available to protect his mental health. I pray that he feels safe and loved. That's been my only focus.
Then it occurred to me: I'm praying for his survival. And while that's all good, he can't allow my fear and limiting beliefs to dictate his life. During our Sunday chat, he shared some things with me for the first time. He has grand plans and goals that far exceed anything I could have dreamt up for him. As much as I want to just hold him close to keep him safe, I realize that I have to continue to let go -- albeit slowly -- but let him grow up. You want to protect your family from the evils in this world. And try as we might, life absolves no one.
A horrific thing happens, folks extend hashtags and their sympathies, and the world keeps spinning. I know it sounds cold-hearted, but I hope that while people are moving forward, some part of them is changed by all these experiences. That something compels them to act and improve their lives and those in their orbit.
The common thread in all of these events is the need for respect for humanity. Respect people’s livelihoods. Respect a true leader’s decision. It takes a keenly emotionally intelligent individual to know when it’s time to walk away. Respect people’s opinions — doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. The same way folks can scroll past foolishness on social, they can walk past books.
Judy Blume, one of my childhood heroes and author of all things that shaped my formative years said that “fear is often disguised as moral outrage.”
Preach, Judy. What are they afraid of?
Dear friends, I pray that you are equipped to live beyond a survival story. That you’re healthy, whole, protected, feel loved and supported beyond your wildest dreams.
What I’m Reading …
I recently treated myself to a couple (okay-okay more than a couple more like a dozen) new books for my birthday. I just finished Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan. I deem this a true love story. Mind you it gets super steamy in the later chapters (hawt child) but I loved this story.
I also read Book Lovers by Emily Henry at the suggestion of a friend. It was different, I wasn’t sure if I liked the protagonist at first but I grew to love her towards the end of the story. And it’s a book about people who love books …I mean come on people. What’s not to love?! There’s a little steam there too …hmm I seeing a pattern.
What are you reading, friends?
What I’m Writing …
So I got some great advice from a (hmmm) I’m going to call her a mentor — I’m sure at some point we’ll become the best of friends. But she's encouraged me to keep working on my memoir. I’ve been writing about my grandmother and her life growing up in Lowcountry South Carolina in South Island. At one point, I completely shut down because so much was happening. And after I lost my big brother this past November it was a painful reminder that I should keep swinging. He’d want me to.
If you’re interested in hearing me talk about my research and writing process and some of the seriously interesting things I’m learning about my Gullah culture, let me know. I’m bringing my podcast back and will be more than happy to talk about it there.
Banned Books
I’ve compiled a few web links below that will take you to sites that have banned books listed. I’ve read quite a few of these and I’m all the better for it. Happy Reading Friends.